A Year Ago

A year ago today, life was cut short.

A year ago today, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, was taken home.

I still question this.

Why someone so young, someone so needed by her kids, was taken away.

But I know that she is no longer sick.

That she is no longer suffering.

But I also know that her loss is still felt daily.

By her sister, by her parents, and her friends.

I know her husband is trying to move on with life.

And I know that some of his decisions upset me.

And they make me question his love for her.

But I am not in his shoes, I have not felt his pain.

Nor do I ever want to feel his pain.

So I try to forgive him.

To forgive him for for finding comfort in another woman.

Forgive him for bringing another child into this world.
Already.
It is just hard.

But I do try.

I know he loved her, and I know he still misses her.

I know that his pain is far deeper than my own.

I still feel that emptiness. That feeling from when I was told.

I can not explain the pain I felt. This loss was so deep.
Thinking of that moment, I get nauseous.

Like I am being told all over again.

I think of her often.

Actually, I think of her pretty much daily.

And I always wonder if that twinge on my heart will ever get lighter.

But I know that it won't.

The pain never goes away,

you just learn how to deal with it.

How to comfort yourself.





Alexa, my Dear Friend.

I love you.

I miss you.

I wish you were here.

But I know you are healthy now.

I know you feel no more pain.

I know that He had good reasons as to why He took you home.

Please continue to look after all of us.

And please help me have the strength to forgive Daniel.





In Loving Memory



Alexa Layne G.
June 5, 1978 - January 23 2008