Monday, February 25, 2008

Junebug's First Photo Shoot!!

Our ultrasound was AMAZING!! Junebug definitely put on a show for us!! And he/she is definitely an acrobat! We got to see our lil one trying to suck on his/her thumb. And by the end of the ultrasound, those beautiful feet were resting on top of his/her head! The tech kept saying 'this baby is completely bent in half!!' The dvd is around 30 minutes long, and we got a total of 65 pictures! (I only posted I think 17 or 18) And as you can tell, we still don't know if Junebug is a he or she. So we will all have to wait until the 'birth' day to find that out!! Isn't that just oh so exciting?!!?!! We go back for our second 3d ultrasound on April 19th. By that time, Junebug should have some fat on his/her little body. Right now, there isn't much, and in the body shots, you can see some ribs. (and I swear I do feed the lil one. My weight gain of 13 pounds total proves that!) ;-) Ok - enough of the jibber jabber - now on to some pic's!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

23 Weeks

First thing I want to say is THANK YOU! To all of you for your kind words, thoughts, prayers, and for your sympathy. The past few weeks have been rough. Losing a loved one is very difficult, and losing Alexa has been really tough on me. It has been hard to get back to my normal every day stuff, because it just felt wrong to do so. I am sure this is because I am mourning the loss of a dear friend. I know that she would not want me to to mourn her any longer, but it is hard for me to carry on as if nothing has changed. Because everything has changed. And even thoughI have always valued my relationship with Kelly, my love for my kids, my family and friends, I definitely value them even more. Each moment is precious and wonderful. And we should take each moment as such. And treasure it. As we do not know what tomorrow holds. We need to live for today. And I am doing my best to do that. I miss Alexa dearly, and that will not go away. But I know that I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to be excited for. And I know that she would not want me to put that all aside so that I can mourn her. So, right now, I am learning to live with all my excitement, while I still mourn my friend. For now, that is what I need to do.

And for an update.....

I can not believe that we are 23 weeks! That is just so amazing to me! And what is more amazing is how much Junebug moves! He/she is a little acrobat in there! Tossing and turning, and flipping and kicking! And the strength of those kicks - we definitely got a future kick boxer on our hands! That could also be because he/she now weighs over a pound and is about 8 inches CRL! About the size of a small doll. Boy, has he/she just grown so much! Junebug is starting to plump up some, but his/her skin is still wrinkly to allow for more weight gain, which should double over the next 4 weeks! The eyelids and eyebrows are well developed. And what a Heart Throb!! We have been able to hear the heartbeat on the doppler for some time, but the heartbeat is now strong enough to be heard through a stethoscope!!

We are having our elective 3D ultrasound done on Feb 23, and we are so excited about this! We will have 2 done this time. One at almost 25 weeks and one right around 32 weeks. At the first one, we should be able to get better shots of things such as hands and feet, and body, as Junebug is still smaller. And at the second one, we should be able to get good shots of Junebug's face, as he/she will have more weight by then. I loved having this done with Gryfinn. And it is amazing to me that those 3D images looked just like him when he was born. It was like we had a prenatal photo shoot done! And I loved it!

We are taking the kids away this weekend. Just over night. So we aren't going far - only about an hour away. We had planned to go for a long weekend, but that didn't work out, as Kel did not get Friday night or Monday night off. So, we just decided to go away for one night. Saturday morning we are going to get up and head to Cosi. It is a hands on science center. The bigger boys of course love it there, but I also think that Gryfinn will be way into it. He is definitely a hands on kinda kid!! And even though I am his Mommy, I think he is smart. He picks up on things very quickly. So I think Cosi will be a wonderful thing for him. We will check into our hotel, and probably hang out by the indoor pool. All three of the kids love the water. Jayk is a bit more leary, but he still loves it. Jarrod and Gryfinn both seem to be a bit more adventurous. And then Sunday morning after check out we are going to head over to Magic Mountain. It is a much bigger Chuck E Cheese type place. Bigger game room, and the tunnels put Chuck E to shame. I think they are 4 stories high. All of us will have a great time! I am really looking forward to just getting away for the night. I think we need this as a family. A 'just us' kind of weekend.

We have also decided that we are going on vacation the last week of August. We are heading to the Outer Banks. We are looking into houses to rent. There are some gorgoeus ones!! Kel's brother and wife and son are going and sharing the cost of the house. And then my Mom is going, and Kel's parents most likely will go. So it will be a big family affair!! 7 days and 7 nights on the beach! It just doesn't get any more relaxing than that! And we figured the beach was a good place to go. Junebug should be about 2 1/2 months old. So we won't be up to anything big like Disney. This way we can hang out at the beach or the private pool at the house.

Boy - we sure do have a lot to look forward to!! But the most exciting is the birth of Junebug! I seem to dream of this often. June will be here before we know it, and we will get to hold him/her in our arms! And I can't wait for that. I can't wait for Kelly to get to hold our precious little Junebug!!

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Rose Still Grows

The Rose Still Grows Beyond the Wall

Near shady wall a rose once grew,
Budded and blossomed in God's free light.
Watered and fed by morning dew,
Shedding its sweetness day and night.

As it grew and blossomed fair and tall,
Slowly rising to loftier height,
It came to a crevice in the wall,
Through which there shone a beam of light.

Onward it crept with added strength,
With never a thought of fear or pride;
It followed the light through the crevice-length,
And unfolded itself on the other side.

The light, the dew, the broadening view,
Were found the same as they were before;
And it lost itself in beauties new,
Breathing its fragrance more and more.

Shall claim of death cause us to grieve,
And make our courage faint or fall?
Nay, let us faith and hope receive;
The rose still grows beyond the wall.

Scattering fragrance far and wide,
Just as it did in days of yore,
Just as it did on the other side,
Just as it will forever more.

A friend gave me this poem, which she had framed, on the day of Alexa's funeral. She found it the day after Alexa passed, and it just hit home, for her and for me.


Photobucket
The Rose - in all it's glory

A coworker, a friend, bought roses for everyone that is in our department. As a way to show her sympathy to all of us, for losing Alexa. Alexa, and everything she went through, has touched everyone. Whether they were close to her, or just coworkers, everyone has felt this loss. The roses were delivered on Jan 24, the day after she passed. And mine is still blossoming. Thriving. The picture was taken today, on Feb 8, and as you can see - it is beautiful. And so amazing. When it was given to me, I removed any leaves that was on it, and I placed it in my bottle of water. On the day of Alexa's funeral, my Mom noticed the leaves that were growing back. You can't quite see them in the picture, but if you look closely at the top of the bottle - you can see them sticking out. I feel that this is Alexa's doing - showing me that she is a rose - and that she is blossoming like never before on the other side of the wall. More beautiful, more radiant than life could ever imagine. I feel her presence, and due to that, it has been hard for me to grasp the fact that she is gone. Because - she is not gone, and she never will be truly gone.

She lives in my heart, as well as in the hearts of so many. And it was her soul that was so strong, not her body. That is why she is still felt.