The Pumpkin Patch

Look how big our lil man is!!

Mama and Gryfinn checking out the pumpkins!

Mommy getting some lovin from the Gryfinn Monster!

Jaykie and his perfect pumpkin!

I'll take this one!

"Deep Thoughts" by Jarrod

Feeling Green

So - morning sickness has set in - and I am one of the lucky ones that experiences it morning, noon, and night. Actually, the only time I do not feel sick is while I am sleeping. I snack ALOT - it lessens if I have something in my belly. So, I try not to go too long between snacks. I was worried that all this eating would make me start to gain weight, but so far I have not gained a single pound - YAY! And as for the sickness, I am not complaining at all. I take this as a good sign, that my levels are strong, and that this is a good thriving pregnancy! Although I would rather not be sick, I know that it comes with the territory - so I am grateful to be sick, cause I am OVER THE MOON about being pregnant!

We have told both of our Mom's that we are expecting. And we are PROUD to say that they both had GOOD reactions! We told my Mom first, in person, a week ago. We were sitting in the basement, and I was trying to get up the courage. Almost backed out - horrible how at nearly 30 years old I was afraid to tell my Mom that my partner and I are having another baby. Why is it that Mom's can put so much, hmm, what is the word, fear of disappointment I think fits - how they can make a grown daughter afraid to tell her something because of fear of disappointing her. Ok - back to the telling of my Mom. I just blurted out,'We have a secret' and she was like, 'You have a secret?' And I was like "Yes, Gryfinn is going to be a big brother. I am almost 7 weeks pregnant!" She was clearly shocked - but it was a GOOD shock! I am so glad that we told her. Kelly and I both felt relieved afterwards.

Then the wait to tell Kelly's Mom. She kept going back and forth about how she would tell her. In person, on the phone, IM, email..... she wasn't sure. She didn't want it to be impersonal, but then again she wanted to save herself heartache by not hearing the tone in her Mom's voice, or the lack of excitement. Yesterday, she just did it. She told her over the phone, and she just said, "I have something to tell you. We are going to have another baby" And her Mom said "Is it you or Danielle?" And Kel said, "It's Danielle" And her Mom said "Well congratulations!" The best response we could have hoped for coming from her! And she told her to tell me Congrats, and then she said, "It is actually for both of you!" That is definitely a step in the right direction. Later on last night, they were IM'ing, and Kel told her that it was nice to get a good reaction from her. And her Mom told her that she has realized that she needs to accept the things she can not change, (yes, her daughter is gay, will never marry a man, and keeps having children with her lesbian partner!) and to be happy with the way things are, and basically not miss out on anything else with her grandchildren. That is a HUGE - and I mean MONDO GINORMOUS step for Kelly's Mom, and I am very proud of her. She said that Kel's Dad was really shocked, he didn't know what to say - which we think is pretty funny!

All the grandparents are hoping for a girl! There are 4 grandson's on Kel's side, and my Mom has not had a granddaughter born in over 10 years, but in that 10 years she has had 9 - yes 9 - grandsons born. So - they both would love to have a granddaughter. They of course will love and spoil the hell out of another boy. And we feel the same way, it would be nice to add some pink around the house, but we sure do love blue!

We still have not told anyone else yet that we are expecting. And I am not sure when we will do this. Our first dr's appointment in next Tuesday. But it isn't like we will know anything different. It will be a routine first appointment - Pap, exam, and tons of blood. But our dr is not one to do ultrasounds early. Although we would love to see our lil one, we doubt he will send us for one. And since I will only be starting my 9th week of pregnancy, there is not a chance of hearing the heartbeat yet with a fetal monitor. So - I am not sure if we will wait until after the appointment, or wait until we do hear the heartbeat. I am just not sure. We have told our parents - no one else worries us. I am just excited, and can't wait to tell everyone!

Ok - it is now time to get back to work. I just feel that since I finally felt up to blogging, that I should get as much done as I could.

Next to come...... pictures from the pumpkin patch!

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!

I feel very confidant in saying that! We have taken several tests over the last few days. This morning we took an Answer Early Response - and it is POSITIVE!! No questions, cause it is DARK!!!!!

It is just so amazing - so wonderful - so OH MY GOODNESS!! I can't stop thinking about it! We have already decided that we are going to wait to tell everyone - except for a few choice people that knew we were trying. And of course I will tell my online buddies! But family and other friends, they will have to wait. Our goal right now is to wait until Nov 27. Kelly is off that evening, so we thought it would be perfect to go around and visit, and tell everyone our WONDERFUL news!!

This makes me nervous - not about telling everyone, just about telling our parents. We did not get a very good reaction out of either one of our parents when we told them that we were pregnant with Gryfinn. My Mom made me cry, hysterically, in front of everyone. And Kel's Mom made her cry, but she was able to hold it in until we left. So - telling them is scary and not so much anticipated. Although, my Mom has come around SO very much, and she loves my family and adores all 3 of our kids. She loves Kelly, and even calls her her daughter-in-law. And she tells me how beautiful and wonderful my family is all the time. But, I am still nervous.

We also plan to tell my Mom that we are getting married. We figured we might as well do it all on the same day - be like - we are getting married, in Hawaii but not until June 2010, because next year we will have a baby - we are due June 9-10. And that way if she doesn't give us a good reaction - it will all be at the same time - kinda like the kill 2 birds with 1 stone - right? I will only have to have one cry, instead of two. But, I have a good feeling about this pregnancy - about my Mom's reaction. And also about the wedding. I think my Mom will want to be there. At least I hope....

Enough about the sad stuff..

WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!!

The Faintest of Faint

Ok - so those that have gone through the ttc process probably know the drill. You start your period, you wait approximately 14 days to ovulate. Normally for me it is 12-13 - this past cycle it was 16. So - then after that, you are in what they call the two week wait (tww). This, of course, is the longest wait EVER! Because you begin to feel every twinge, notice every vein, every cramp, every - well every everything. And you think - hmm, is that a sign. Maybe that's a sign, no maybe that's a sign. And then the big decision is when to start testing....

This time, we decided to order some internet cheapies. They were $15.50 (including shipping) for 50 (yes FIFTY) tests! We got them off of Ebay. And I think this was an amazing investment. Because, we have so many of them that I can test as often as I like, and not feel guilty about it, right?!

Well, the tests arrive on Friday, cd 25, 9 dpo. So, I figured what the hell, this is a sign - I should start testing. So I did. And the obsessing began!

I turn those tests at an angle, hold them up against the light - in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the bedroom - everywhere. And then WAIT - what is it that I see there? It was Saturday night, cd 26, 10 dpo. The faintest, almost non-existent shimmer of hope?! Kel said I was crazy, that there was nothing there.

So.... I tested again Sunday morning, cd 27, 11 dpo - and again, the faintest hint of a line. And again that night - but this time it is a lil bit darker - could this be it. Is this a positive HPT? Could we be pregnant? I am not sure - so I have Kel pee on a test. What the heck, we still have over 40 left, right? And I need to know if her test will show a line. I am thinking, hmm, maybe they all do if you analyze them this intensely. So, she pees, and dips the test, and low and behold - NO line!

Now what??

Nothing, but to wait til morning. So we do. And I pee again, and still very faint, but a line. A bit darker, but still a line - right? We sure do hope so!

So - we wait - I hold it for another 5 hours, ready to explode I was. And we took another one. And this one is even darker!!

So - we are very optimistic, but still afraid. Afraid to shout it to the world, afraid to mutter those 3 words - afraid that it can be taken away. So - we wait. We wait until tomorrow morning, to test again - in hopes that it will be a for sure - a no questions asked positive.

So we wait, and we pray. That the faintest of faint turns into the positives of positive.