TTC

So - our DHL delivery finally showed up on Monday. Four days late, I must add. We were certain that things were all screwed up, and that we missed my peak, and that this cycle was a bust, and we were out $169 for shipping. But - we didn't give up, I kept testing, and then, finally, on Wed, CD 16 - I got my peak. I will have to say that I was extremely relieved that it finally came.

We did the first insem at around 10:30 - 11:00 am, and the second one around 10:00 pm. We have to work things out so that we can do it when Gryfinn is napping. So Kelly kept him awake longer in the morning, and I made sure that all three boys were in bed for the evening insem. Both insems went good, without any mishaps. Which is wonderful, cause we have definitely had our fair share of mishaps.

Now the wait begins.

We are now 6 dpo, cd 22. Nothing to really report. I had heartburn yesterday, which is nothing new, and I was extremely tired. But, I think that was due to going out Saturday night for my best friends bachelorette party. Kel and I didn't get home until 3am - and probably not to sleep until closer to 4. And I woke up at 8. Jarrod and Jayk were with their other parents, and my Mom stayed here with Gryfinn. I heard them up and moving around, and then couldn't go back to sleep. So I went ahead and got up. So, I think the fatigue was just my body telling me that I had some catching up to do on my sleep. I also had a lil bit of cramping - but then I wonder if that is just all in my head. Or if it could be the fact that I usually start my period on cd 26 or 27. I wonder how that will all work out this time. You would think that since I ovulated late, 2-3 days late, that I would also start 2-3 days late. Hmmm? That is just something else for me to ponder about.

No change in my breasts - I of course exam them daily. Waiting to see some sort of change. More blue veins, for my areola to change in size or color - something. Reading this, one who has never been through this roller coaster of ttc, would probably think that I am crazy - or obsessed with my own breasts. But those who have been there - probably thought 'been there, done that'!

This is the difficult part - the waiting. Cause you just don't know what the outcome will be. You want to be pregnant soo bad, with every fiber of your being. And due to that, I think you feel things, see things that aren't really there. Twinges, cramps, heartburn, hmm, are my nipples a lil darker? Those all become - I wonder if that is a sign? So then you look on the internet for early pregnancy symptoms. Even though that you already know that those are all signs. It is like you do that to reassure yourself that this could be it. But in all actuality - there is no way to really know until you get that positive hpt. With our miscarriage and with Gryfinn, I felt it inside, but didn't really know that it was real until it was confirmed by that wonderful BFP! I wish that there was some way to know NOW. To look inside and be like - Yep, look, there is the fertilized egg traveling through my fallopian tube. That would be awesome. But, we aren't so lucky. We have to wait. Wait for either the doom of blood, or the glory of the test! I, like the rest that are ttc, pray for the glory.

Another question during the ttw to ask - is when to start testing. I have heard of so many getting positive hpt's as early as 8 or 9 dpo. That would be awesome, but I feel like we have already wasted so much money on pregnancy tests over the last 2 failed cycles. So - do we wait until my period is late - which will be when? After 27 days, or would it be 30? Or should we give in, and maybe start testing at 10dpo? I guess this is just something else for me to ponder....

Cleveland 51 Cincinnati 45

Ok - so yes - this is a lil late. Life has been busy, and I just have not had the time to blog. I have had several things to blog about - just have to have the time to do it. I am going to try and make it up today - and blog like a maniac!

The game was FANTASTIC!!! It is great to see our Browns win - but to be there when they beat the Bengals - that is priceless! And yes - this win sure did make my DHL worries go out the window!

We had a great time. On Saturday night, we went bowling and played pool - and I did drink. I had 3 beers, and surprisingly enough, was barely buzzed. That is probably from the greasy bar food - it soaked up all the alcohol. It was great getting some adult time with Kelly. I have needed that.

The atmosphere in Cleveland on Sunday was awesome. You feel at home, being surrounded by so many other Browns fans. Where we live, although it is in Ohio, we are the minority - everyone around are Bengals fans. They all support Ocho Stinko (as Jayk so kindly refers to Chad Johnson). I screamed, yelled and barked so much that I did lose my voice - and I think I broke my finger. It is better now, finally, over a week later. But it has given me some grief. And the funny thing, it is my middle finger, but I did not injure it by flipping off Chad Johnson when he jumped into the Dawg Pound. Jarrod called me right after that happened, and questioned whether I flipped him off - cause he said that all of those other people did! No - I injured it trying to high five my brother after we scored yet another touch down. It was in the 4th quarter - the excitement was high - and my brother was standing on our seats, and did not see me turn to celebrate - and he ended up smacking my finger. It was one of those moments, where it was over as soon as you seen it happen - and boy did it hurt like a bitch! Oh well - battle wounds - right?! :O) It was so worth it!!

Ok - so I forgot about the wonderful time that we had with my brothers. One in particular, Ray. He is something else. He had told my other brother, Doug, that his plan for the getaway was to hook up with a woman. Although Ray has woman at home. Doug told Kel and I of this plan. So, due to that, and the fact that Ray is hot headed - we did not go to a club. That is why we went bowling. Thought this was safer. Doug had said that he didn't want to go to jail in Cleveland, and Kel and I said that we would hate to have to leave them! :O) Things were fine, Ray did not hook up, and there weren't any fights. Except for that night in his sleep. Ray talks, does not mumble, he talks. Very clear, very plain. At one point, he asked Cooper - not sure who this is - if he wanted a piece or the whole fucking thing. Since Kelly and I were sleeping right next to him, we both had the fear that he would think we were Cooper. At another point, he sat straight up in bed, and said -Where am I? Laid back down and farted. It was a rather long night for Kel and I. Not much sleep at all. And we got a lot of human out of Ray's talking. The saying for the day was - do you want a piece or the whole fucking thing?!

To conclude that - I doubt that we will ever go away with Ray again. Although he did not get into any fights, he is an asshole - and has poor sportsmanship. Doug on the other hand - he was a lot of fun. And is so much more laid back than Ray. So much so - that we weren't sure at times if he was really enjoying himself. I think next year, we are going to go to Michigan with Doug, and watch the Wolverines play. It will be great to be surrounded by fellow fans, and not be told that we are traitors. (due to the HUGE rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan).

DHL

I have decided that I hate DHL. They have brought me so much grief today. Our package was due to arrive yesterday. I called - got the tracking #, and checked the status online. It was, and still is, sitting at a warehouse - and has been since 3:20pm on Thursday. I called and spoke to a customer rep - and of course she is an idiot, so I ask to speak to a supervisor. Her name is April. And I completely spilled it all out to April. I told her that yes, our package is parishable - it contains sperm - sperm that we need to inseminate. And we have a VERY small window of opportunity. I told her that I do NOT understand WHY our package has been sitting, just sitting, at a warehouse for nearly 48 hours. She does do a little bit of research, and then calls me back and tells me that unfortunately there is nothing that she can do. It is at the main warehouse, and has not been received at the local hub. And no - I can't go and pick it up. She said that it should (yes should) be delivered on Monday. But what if it isn't. We are out $159 for shipping, and have lost this cycle. Hell - we still maybe out the money and have lost the cycle.

I guess it is good that my CBFM was still reading low today on CD12. But - I have gone from low to peak. I hope this cycle isn't a bust. I am so aggravated and so frustrated over this.

On another note - we are heading to Cleveland today. My Mom is keeping the rugrats, and we are going away for the night. We bought tickets to the Browns game for us and my two brothers that finished our basement. They did an amazing job, and it is now our computer/work area. It works out perfectly - considering that we now have 3 computers - my work station, Kel's work station and the home computer. And since we are going to be away from the kids - maybe I will drink a couple of beers. Has been a LONG time. Could be fun!

Here's to a great weekend away - getting some adult time with Kel - not alone time, but some adult time. We will be able to talk. I miss talking to her. She is my favorite person to talk to. And I will be able to sleep next to her ALL night long! YES! Granted we are sharing a room with my brothers, but there will not be a lil Gryfinn Monster lying between us. I can actually snuggle with her all night! And I sure hope the Browns kick the shit out of the Bengals. That would make all this DHL busniness not seem so stressing.

Introducing The Clan

This is Kelly, (aka Mama). She is the most amazing, wonderful woman I know. We have been friends since 2001, and became a couple in 2002. I completely fell head over heals for her. She has opened up my eyes to so many things. Love is such a wonderful thing! We each came into the relationship with a child, and we knew immdeiately that we wanted more! She took wonderful care of me while pregnant, I guess I should say she spoiled the hell out of me! :O) I am lucky to have her! She is my one and only. And even if it is cliche - she does complete me. I love this woman!

And this is me, Dani (aka Mommy). And I am saddened that I do not have a recent picture of myself that I like. Atleast not one by myself. So, this is misleading. I am heavier due to having a child. I love being pregnant, but pregnancy does a number on my body. With each child, it goes a bit more. I decided that since we are trying for our next already, that there is no need for me to wear myself out trying to lose weight now. I will do that when we are all done having babies! Also - my hair is no longer short. I have been growing it out for some time, it is now in a shaggy bob, or whatever you call it! I promise to have a decent recent picture taken, and will post that.

Here is our 9 year old, Jarrod. He has recently gotten really involved in baseball, and it has been a blast! He is also our inventor, he built the 'Kid Protector' - and won 1st place in the 3rd grade category at Invention Convention! We are so proud of him!

This is Jaykob! He is our 7 year old. He is definitely our Allstar baseball player. And he is our lil lover boy! Atleast twice a day, out of nowhere, he will be like, 'I love you'! And he is always the teacher's favorite! He listens, and does what he is supposed to do. He is also our braniac! He is so very smart! How lucky can we be, an absolutely adorable smarty pants!! :O)

This is our lil man, Gryfinn! He is 13 1/2 months old. He has all 4 of us wrapped around his lil finger - and we love every minute of it! He has this amazing personality that keeps us laughing at all times! And he has these wonderful lil arms that he will just wrap around your neck! (he will lift his legs up to make sure we pick him up!) :O) And I think it is soo amazing to hear him differentiate between 'Mama' and 'Mommy' - or when we are both there, he will just shout 'MOM'! And when he is running around like a maniac - he will shout 'GO, GO, GO'! We have also taught him a little bit of sign language - he knows milk, finished/all done, more and eat. When he is hungry, he will sign eat and say 'good good'! And we get finsihed/all done ALL the time. He hates having his diaper changed, so as soon as we lay him down to change him, he signs finished/all done. It really is the cutest thing!

And this is our furbaby - Oliver. He is a 2 year old Weimaraner. He has beautiful amber colored eyes and a gorgeous grey coat! And he is our baby! Although this picture does not do him justice, he is rather tall. His head is high enough for him to steal food off of the boys' plates or to stick his head in the Doritos bag that is sitting on the table! :O) He is hyper - but only when people come to visit him. (I say him, because it is obvious that he thinks that anyone that comes over, is coming over to see him!) But he is so gentle with Gryfinn. Which is wonderful! We really couldn't ask for a better dog!

Well, that's our family. My family! My wonderful, wouldn't trade it for anything family! They mean more to me than anything - and they make me who I am! I am proud, I am blessed, I am so very lucky to have the family that I have!

Am I really doing this???

So - I guess I have decided that I am going to blog...... Everyone's doing it, right?! ;-) We know a few people that do, and it is amazing! I love reading up on their lives, their kids, etc. And if you miss out on a few days,weeks, months - whatever- you can get wrapped up in catching up. Kel and I were talking yesterday about a certain blog, then she turns to me and says "Why don't you blog?" And I say "Because I don't think I have anything to say." She politely returns with a grin "But you never shut up!" Hmmm....... I wonder if she is trying to tell me something? :O)

So - I have decided to give this a go. And now that I think about it - I wish I would have started this a long time ago. Or atleast during our last ttc battle. It would have been great to look back now that we are trying again - to see signs, symptoms, feelings, etc. And also to have this from my pregnancy and while Gryfinn was growing. My kids say some of the darndest things, and they do things that just make me crack up - it would be neat to be able to look back. Oh well - hind sight is 20/20.

It will take me awhile to figure things out, how to post pictures and such, but that is my goal, to add pictures of my wonderful family, and do a proper introduction.

That is all for now - but I shall return! :O)