Not the update I had planned....

Thursday morning at 12:30am, I get a phone call from my brothers girlfriend. They called the squad for Mom. All I remember from that first call was she is vomiting for the past 7 hours and has pain on her right side. I get up, and then call them back. I was super freaked. A stroke? A heart attack? But, this time, I get more info, and the pain was in her abdomen. Not as freaked out now.

I meet the squad at the ER at 1:15am. After running some tests, at 5am, we find out that it's her appendix. The nurse acts like it will be a few hours before surgery, so my brother Doug goes home to rest. (he is still recovering from his back surgery.) I tell him I will call him whenever I hear anything. At 6:45, the nurse comes in and tells us we are getting moved to a room. While I am waiting for this to happen, a nurse from pre-op comes in at 7am and says we are taking you to pre-op to get you ready for surgery, and off we go. I meet the surgeon and the anesthesiologist. Both seem great, especially the surgeon, and this was when the tears started. They take her off to surgery, and I head the waiting room. My sister, Tanya, is there. I make phone calls to let everyone know what is going on. At 8:30, the dr comes out and tells us that her appendix had ruptured but the surgery went good. Except that she vomited while under, and they are concerned that she may have aspirated some of it. At this time, Tanya and I go call everyone and I get something to eat. And then Tanya leaves. Then the recovery nurse comes out and tells me that she is having extra heartbeats and they are trying to figure out why. Finally, at 1pm, they let us go back and see her in recovery. And then finally, at 4pm, she gets placed in a room.

I go home around 5:30, to get some rest. Doug and I decided that he would stay over night and I would come up at 5am. Cause no one else is willing to do anything.

On Friday, we find out that her oxygen levels are low. The hospitalist realizes that her right lung is not filling up all the way. So he orders a chest Xray. On Saturday, all he says is that the radiologist wants her to come down to radiology and have a full front and back xray.

Today he tells us that she has a touch of pneumonia. But that it does seem to be getting better. They took her off oxygen. They are still loading her up on antibiotics, and they are hoping that she will get to go home tomorrow.

She really is doing better. But it has been one helluva week/weekend. I was so full of fear. Especially when sitting in the waiting room by myself. What if they come out and give me bad news? What will I do? And I have plans to have some serious talks with her once she is feeling better. I am not ready to lose her. She has got to take better care of herself. Starting with quitting smoking. I have already told her this, the Dr has told her this. Doug has told her this. And she says she is going to. I really hope she means it. I really do.

And as for other members of my family. They have really upset me. My brother Ray, he has actually stepped up to the plate, and taking really good care of our brother Johnny. But my sister Tanya... she is a whole other story. She did come to the hospital and was there during surgery. When I talked to her at 5:30am, she said she had an exam at noon. Well, when she is at the hospital, she tells me she has to leave at 8:45 cause of her exams. But they are over at 3pm, and she will be back. She got back at 7:30pm and stayed about an hour. On Friday, she calls me, and these are her exact words "I just finished my exam, and I have this and that to do. I have to get Michelles brakes fixed. And then this bullshit with Mom...(brief silence)... well, it's not bullshit, but you know, it just adds to my stress. So I just don't know when I will make it to the hospital." And she never did make it to the hospital on Friday. On Saturday, she tells me that she has a lot to do cause she is leaving to go see her son in Hawaii on Sunday, and she is just real busy, and hasn't gotten any sleep, and just doesn't know when she will make it to the hospital. I guess she did finally show up. It was after 10pm. And stayed like 15 minutes. It has always been obvious that she only cares about herself. That is the kind of person she is. But seriously. This is your Mom. Have you no decency?

And then my sister/niece. She came up to the hospital when Mom was in recovery. And then came back up later that night to see her. But that was the last time. And she had her Mom keep the kids Friday night. And you would have thought that if she really cared, she would have spent some time with the woman that raised her, who she said is more of a mother to her than her real mother ever could be. But, apparently not. Apparently other things are more important. And I have a feeling that those other things might have been going out and partying.

Yeah, I am frustrated. I have had way too many thoughts about losing my Mom. And it has me scared. I am not ready. My kids are not ready for that either. She is their life. A day doesn't go by where they ask about her at least 5 times.

I am going to go, and clean the kitchen. Please keep her in your thoughts and/or prayers. And me too - so that I don't go off on one of my family members and make things more stressful than they are. Cause you know, I just had to start my period, so it has intensified all of these emotions that have been going on.